I've been in the very same situation with prescription meds where I found out later I could have easily overdosed accidentally... The most recent time was this past summer when I went through a bout of mania and I was sleepless for nearly a week. I had increased my own dosage of ativan at that time to 4 times my original dose in an effort to fall asleep. I was clearly unable at that point to make a clear decision and my calls for help went un-noticed by my Dr.s until the pharmacist informed them of my second refill. I was up to 8mg of Ativan, my body seem to be immune to it and it was to a certain extent.
At that dosage I could have easily went to sleep and died quietly and peacefully in my sleep. After being switched to a different medication that I had such serious side effects to, I decided that was it. I would take my lumps and try to sleep meds free. It was agreed that if in the absence of the drugs I remained awake again for more than 3 days I was to head to the hospital as major mania can kick in without enough rem sleep and I would not be safe with my own actions. I got over the hump. I suffered through sleepless nights several times a week and settled into the routine of... If I am tired I will sleep, it didn't matter if it was 11am, 6pm, 2am, I would sleep for how ever long I could. I am now sleeping meds free, I am back to my usual 8 hours of sleep of 2am till 10am. I swear not to ever return to those meds, my life is more important to me and my family.
I grieve for all of Heath Ledgers family and their suffering. I am saddened that he had to die so tragically. He was so gifted and I admired him like no other before him. I hope that many people have learned and are more aware of the dangers with mixing meds and accidentally over medicating. It would be a shame to know his death served no purpose.
This smile will forever be etched in my memories.
