Thursday, October 11, 2007

THE ASTRONAUGHTY EXPOSED!


OK here it is as promised, another one of our poems sparked by the Burlesque show at Rhizome's.
See previous post. He she's and let me see's.

PAUL wrote...

A Different Planet Body.

A Parody to: The Astronaughtys.

The female astronaughty left her lover,
lounging in a warm bath on Mars to explore a different planet.
She had read reports of such a place when she was but a girl,
and yearned to give it a whirl around the sun.
She had seen pictures of its pink surface,
and was entranced by its beauty,
and wondered if she would be granted,
a panted, patented petted, vetted, sweated entrance,
into the ways of the Planet of the Burlesque is more.
Leaving Mars far behind the times,
she jumped into hyperspace like lightning from Zeus' eyes,
crackling with energy to spend it in all one day.
She popped out of hyperspace,
like a champagne cork in the hands of a courtesan,
hovering over the pink and mauve clouded planet.
She left the mother ship in her shuttle,
to seek out the scuttle butt,
the straight skinny-dipping the cat's meow and pajamas,
on what gives all the way,
under the diaphanous shroud of the planet.
The shuttle landed like a spread eagle, eager for beaver tail,
to flail within an nine inch nail.
The lady astronaughty stepped from the shuttle,
and took off her helmet,
since her sensors told her the air here was refreshing.
It was night on this surface of the planet,
and the natives were restless,
within spitting distance she espied with her brown eye,
a trio of the aliens, engaged in some fertility rites,
two beating a driving wild rhythm on drums between their knees,
looking only at the other as if the drum was the other.
Before within the landscape of throb created by the percussion,
gyrated-x a dancer prancing and swaying,
her hair tied up in pig-tails,
interweaved with multi-colored ribbons,
her body barely clad in a black material which shined,
the dancer's body heaved like clouds being born,
her eyes dark as obsidian, her smile bright as a diamond,
she said to the astronaughty, “hello sexy,”
and in her high heels did a somersault,
away from the astronaughty flashing her split sex,
like a bolt of lightning.
The female astronaughty licked her lips lusciously,
the drumming humming a dinger, the dancer,
who told the astronaughty,
her name translated into your tongue means April Showers,
took her by the hand and they swirled together like cotton candy,
like a flock of starlings,
like a warm breeze through palm trees, spinning like tops off.
“You are new here,
and our planet must know you mean no harm,”
whispered April, like a gentle shower,
into the Astronaughtys ears.
“How do I clear my name?” She asked,
chest heaving like a surf on an Africa shore,
“you must let the whole planet see you share our customs,”
replied the dancer shash-saying.
“How” she asked confused,
letting her lead, the proof of the pudding is in the eating,
and we have a video link to all our world's playstations,
sighed the smiling dancer.
Ally the astronaughty quivered,
as the dancers meaning dawned on her like the sun,
“I yearn to learn,”
her heart racing like a cheetah on the edge of a dark continent.
With a robot camera floating above their heads,
transmitting every close-up image,
to the four corners of the Planet of the Burlesque,
April strip searched the astronaughty,
she left no stone unturned,
she uncovered every hidden a-gender-a,
as the drummers continued the beat themselves up.
When she was naked as a jay bird is long,
the dancer placed Ally on a work-out bench of sorts,
padded comfortably Ally lay on its Y shape,
her legs spread open.
April peeled off her dress like an orange,
letting her globes bounce free and clear,
dear to behold and hold on tight.
Ally could see the scene,
on a user-friendly-giant screen tv in her line of sight.
She held on tight,
for a jump into hyper space of a different kind.
April kneeled before Ally's altar,
altered state the obvious,
and massaged her thighs to the rhythm of the drums.
Ally could see on the tv April's mischievous face,
with a pussy-eating grin to get in hit, get on with it.
On the monitor she saw a close up of her yearning bush,
with April poised to strike like a snake up Ally's ladder,
April's tongue licked out like a fish to water,
attacking the problem head with bell's on.
Ally's cry echoed through the planet's playstation,
this alien was going native.
Her pigtails bobbing like Christmas ornaments,
April licked Ally's pussy like it was a giant stamp,
Ally grabbing the dancer's hair for dear life the fullest,
watched a close up of the tongues path,
on the giant screen tv.
The drums filled her ears,
as April filled her quim with vim to the brim,
with her variable tongue, stage 1, twister, sister-blisters.
April unfolded Ally's pussy as if it were a map,
to better improve her excellent sense of direction,
tracing with her fingers the highways and bi-way to the major city,
pretty in tickle her fancy pink centres of the earth woman.
April homed in on Ally's clit, with a sally, of precision,
guiding sweet-meat-heat-seeking-out-new-worlds missile,
to pucker up its fissile material to split,
don't know her from Adam's apple,
to set off a unchained reaction,
Ally squealing like a NASCAR peeling rubber,
screaming like a dentist's drill.
Ally see-sawed the picture on the tv,
of April kneeling between her naked thighs,
April's ass showing off,
her head pressed into Ally's snatch,
worshiping her like a ship about to sink,
in a monsoon of loony tune poon pooning, out go the lights.
Writhing like going down electric cables,
sweet April's tongue spun a tale of derriere-do-me
on in through, with within, without a doubt about it,
her satin soft face giving face, saving face,
showing Ally's best face foaming at the second mouth,
balling her tiger eyes put eat out.
The waves of pleasure radiating out of her,
like sunbeams on high,
April's tongue,
did a striped down to basics, clit tease out all the threads,
showing, getting off,
spinning arabesques whirli-whirli-gigidy-gig-girly-girly,
Ally screaming her head off.
April Showers lifted her power-fulfilling mouth,
from the astronaughtys pussy smiling,
and said, “I haven't had this much fun,
since captain Kirk blasted off.”



ALLY replied...

Going where no woman has gone before,
April brought her see-shore to see-shore,
a-washing the naughty-astronaughty with waves,
of glee in all she could see at her great divide.
Seeing her tongue slither like a snake,
inside her cave of wonders,
Ally nearly fainted as it played a tune,
and kept up with the beat of the drums.
Singing a song of sixpence, Ally’s voice rang out,
into the purple hues of the night sky,
sucking her clit she slid fingers in agin,
making her ache-quake-quiver and shake.
Ally’s voice was heavier in the thick air,
and she sounded off like a bull horn,
as she came in her rain of terror,
April showers had made her flowers bloom.
Laying dazed, amazed and crazed in her haze,
She felt a hot push in her bush, “Oh” she sighed,
“What wonderful creatures on this small planet,”
“A” sexual? Bisexual? A he-she she did see.
What a delightful surprise under-her-ware,
she rode her like a man never could or would,
feeling her engorged sex fuck-her-like-an-animal,
bucking up to meet each thrust with force.
Watching the screen, filling her katz-eyes till full,
oh what rapturous delight at this night,
such an amazing race dwelled in this place,
to never feel shame but allow the pleasures that be.
For all could see, and were amazed at her surprise,
“such a strange creature to be all woman and not both,
and oh what sounds she makes as pleasure peaks,
we must send for more of these wanton wonders.”
Fucking to the rhythm and pounding of the drums,
they beat fasted, faster, harder, harder, as did the two,
their bodies fit just right and as April came,
she just mewed and purred as she shuddered.
Licking her clean and helping her dress,
the astronaughty back in her suit so taut,
said her praise and thanks with a steamy kiss,
sucking her tongue with a farewell to the.
She arrived at her mother ship dizzy with delight,
set off for Mars to pull her lover from the bath,
to take he and her back down to earth,
for earth is by far the most earthy pleasure.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

He/She's and let me see's.





One of my favorite blogs Lust Bites had some fun postings this week and funny enough two separate topics tied in to one experience I had. I decided to do a spin off, I hope no one minds, but I wanted to post some pix of the night in question and I wanted to put them here as I have been picking up too much spyware from photobucket.

Earlier in the week we talked of voyeurism and exhibitionism. Today the topic was about men who dress as women.

Back in April I had the opportunity to perform my standup comedy with a group of men/women doing a burlesque show. It was held at an upbeat gay bar in downtown Vancouver. It was the best time I'd had in years and it will always be fun to look back and remember that night. The men in drag were all so awesome. We did our standup comedy show 1st. Then they did their burlesque show, with the loud music and the buzz in the air we were all dancing with them. OK I was, I had met my friend there and he being in a wheel chair with a large respirator on the back, we were almost on the stage as there was not much room elsewhere and so with me standing by his side the music of course had me bouncing all over. Lastly was a pair of lesbians who played the most hypnotic African drum music. Watching these two gals playing their drums, the way they stared at each other the whole time they played together was very erotic, it was so hot.

That night my friends and I had a blast. Not to mention the ton of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels I was downing like water, then the fact that my other friend Jen had to practically hold me up and drag me off to her place via bus and skytrain. OK she did literally. My hero.

That night sparked a frenzy of writing between my friend and I for the next few days, we were in the habit of writing erotic poetry to each other as a form of correspondence and I will post some of it below, I've also posted other poems of ours in some of my past postings. Here is a taste of my night at Zhizome's.


ALLY wrote...
She snuck up from behind,
breathing soft in his ear so dear,
lick with a flick of her tongue,
along the vein of his neck, threatening to devour him.
Straddling and rocking to the beat,
of the primal African drumming humming,
her dark amber eyes aglow with the flow,
plunging his soul with lustful looks.
Taking his face in her hands gripping,
she sucks and plucks a bottom lip,
then a top lip, to sip and whip with a flip,
of her tongue before she drowns him with it.
Slipping her hot wet prod while he nod back,
she devours his mouth, sweet, treat, with heat,
searing his body with a kiss from the miss,
to make him want her wanton, wanting me.

The beat bangs at their ears,
while they bang on with cheers all around them,
the cat on him claws and yehaws,
as she rides the cuntrymusic like a bull horn.
Giving him a teat so sweet,
“Suck it my baby, suck, your in luck, I like to fuck!”
“While you have a mouthful, don’t speakeasy,
just please-me, please-me, squeeze-me.”

The drums get loud , thunder in the crowd,
they boom through the gloom of haze,
and come to a peak as they squeak,
together as one, they are done.
The crowd applauds.

APRIL SHOWERS


PAUL wrote...

Burlesque.
She did the splits for his gymnastics to take a spin on,
the light fantastic, licking slick to the quick, flicking,
tricking with treating, when eating the meting out,
of just, lust, desserts, asserting,
flirting, flounting, floating, on a flow,
of wow, now, do it now and how,
bring me low to sing me high C's, climbing to the trees.

Limbs akimbo doing the conga line and mambo,
our heads spinning with winning, twinning of minds meld,
like vulgar Vulvacans in heat, to greet,
the feat first in your class of titans, clashing,
crashing, thrashing, stashing, tongue lashing,
eyelashes fluttering like doves,
as I give your buns a buttering, as I shove from above,
stashing my shaft in your treasure chest cresting the breasts,
waving hello sailor as I tailor each lunge,
to your slick slave to your needs to be naughty women poem.

Pour in my cement, mix it up with the lynx minx
on the brink of blinking,
out the doubts with shouts from the roof top of her mouth,
a shaking in her south land of milk and honey,
waving her tits like flags of surrender,
as he throws her into the blender,
she exclaims his name of fame,
“Oh Jack! Oh Jack Daniels you came, you saw, you conquered.”
They dissolve in a cloud of laughter resolved.


ALLY replied...

Jimmy Beam.
Another night of romping through the raindrops of lick-her,
she espied Jim Beam as she fancied, prancied in the door,
with want of four on the floor, him in her door,
and a night of dining and whining.
Jim said “hey girl hows it hangin” as she grabs him by the balls,
and says “low n slow baby.”

Taking him to the back room with a booth,
with a tooth she pulled his zipper down,
and ripped his mean jeans off to see what he offered in his coffer.
“Twill do” she exclaimed as she pulled her dress above her head,
to show her wares with no under-wares.
Pushing him to sit in the seat while she was in heat of the night,
impassioned for his palate,
she climbed up on the table and spread the fine meal before him,
to dine out while she shout dirty everything’s at him.
Jimmy explored her back roads and inner cities,
while feeling up titties,
splashing through the puddles she was making,
running a muck, so perchance he could fuck.
She slithered on the table like an eel being eaten by the tail.
The screaming dinner bell rang out,
as she clanged her triangles tune,
wanting more but knowing she craved four on the floor,
with Jimmy’s beam driving his four by four.

Turning the table he pulled her and flipped her like a flapjack,
bending her over, and rammed her in her gear,
with his stick shift in all wheel squeal,
and laid into her with great thrust.
As she lay top half on the table,
spread eagle with her beagle bared,
he took hold of her hip and shoulder,
gripping her like tarmac, ramming her, grinding her gears.
“Fuck me like an animal Jimmy Beamer,
I wanna feel you from the inside,
this crazy bitch can’t get enough of you.” she sneered.
He drove her home and onward to the finish line,
wreaking havoc on her behind,
slamming it into gear, threatening to drop her transmission.
“Life in the fast lane feels so fine”,
they both chimed as they got off, at the next stop.


Tomorrow I will post another fairly long poem. I am still shocked we wrote it, it is so raw and unlike anything I've written. It has our burlesque he/she friend April Showers in it and plenty of voyeurism and exhibitionism.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007




Bloggers Unite - Blog Action Day
On October 15th - Blog Action Day, bloggers around the web will unite to put a single important issue on every one's mind.
In its inaugural year, Blog Action Day will be co-ordinating bloggers to tackle the issue of the environment.

Hey peeps. Get involved and show how you can do your part. Together we can all make a difference. What many people don't realized, is that just "you" can make a difference too. No action is too small as long as you act.

So come back on October 15th and see what I have to say. Comment on this blog and I will come see what you have to say too.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

I have plenty to give thanks for.





Well it is that time of the year again.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of my Canadian friends.

I am so lucky when thanksgiving comes, because it gives me the opportunity to be thankful for all I have.

My son Richard was born on Thanksgiving day 18 years ago. I am thankful for him, for his health and for the fact that we both survived the teen years. Oh shit wait, he has two more to go. Ah heck, he lives on his own, has had a full time gruelling job for over a year and is happy in his life. I am proud and happy for him.






I am also thankful for my other children.
Max my rockin oldest son at 21, he is the one screaming into the mic on the right hand side. He is working on an internship at a local music studio where he is learning to be a music producer, following his dreams and working a real full time job on top of that as a forklift operator. I am thankful for his health and happiness, and for the fact he can follow his dreams.









My step-daughters Christine and Doris 30 and 25. I am thankful that I can consider them mine with all my heart, that they are all healthy and happy in their lives. They are wonderful Moms and I feel so blessed with the 3 grandsons and my granddaughter that my 2 daughters have blessed our family with. I am thankful all of the babies are healthy and that they love their Granny. I am thankful there is another one on the way. Giddy with happiness here.





I am thankful to be loved.

I am thankful I am not as ill as I have been in the past and I am relatively happy with my life right now.

I am thankful for all the Mother gives to me on her bountiful earth, the food I eat, the beauty I have had the opportunity to be awed by and her fauna she has allowed me to see and experience.

I am thankful that I have been blessed with being empathic and have the ability to love anyone unconditionally, I can help those who need me and that I can have this sacred connection to all life.

I am thankful for my sexual appetite. Or my poor toys would be so lonely and I would never have had the desire to write what I write nor have the chance to change the path of my life so late in life.

I am thankful for all those I consider friends, especially my Internet friends. You have all given me strength, encouragement, have been there when I felt alone and have mentored me. You are all an inspiration to me.

I GIVE THANKS TO THE DEVINE SPIRIT AND THE MOTHER EARTH FOR EVERYTHING THEY HAVE BLESS MY LIFE WITH.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Where do they find them?





Where do they find these awesome hot men for eye candy? Take a look at some of the most popular gay male blogs and websites that's where. Who gives a hoot if they are gay (hot to me anyway), bi, straight, crooked, bent, sideways... whatever. I went to a blog someone pointed out to me a while back called The Great Cock Hunt. My jaw dropped it was so hot. So after surfing around some of the links from that blog I stumbled across Gay Sourcing dot com and went to the galleries and, and,,, oh man, I mean ah men. All of them quite yummy. Why am I not a male model photographer? OK, I am going to cut this blog short because I have some dreams and fantasies to get to. Did I ever mention I like em dirty sweaty, muddy, smokey, shingle dusted. Just thought I'd remind you.



OH BOYZZZ!
IT'S BED TIME!

;P

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Ok Ok so I fucked up. What else is new.




OK FINE! Yes... I allowed myself a night and day to wallow in my own self pity. One night of drunken, stoned out of my face, whining to my best friend and kick the asshole hubby out, gave myself one day to recoup and I set forth on a new day. Whew, that was rather long winded wasn't it (you ain't seen nuttin yet eh...).

So anyhoo, today I spent most of my day making up for last words, I mean lost words... I managed to cover some 2070 words today. Yes manic me is so productive, especially when I am hell bend on a goal.

Ally's favorite drink recipe,,,
Homemade pina coladas,

16 oz glass half filled with ice cubes,
1 packet of sugar twin or three spoons of pure cane sugar,
a glug glug glug of rum,
a glug or a few tblsp of coconut milk,
top it up with some pineapple juice,
stir and drink like you haven't a care in the world(fuck the blender, it's too noisy).
J.D., Jim Beam and Royal Canadian Rye Whiskey straight up also works well, when used profusely.

Winks atcha!

Monday, October 1, 2007













Well I made my biggest stupid mistake last night. I had been working on my new book and was done for a bit, so I selected (highlighted) all of the text below my outline to get a word count. I have been up dating my word counter on my blog, I had given myself a goal of 500word per day, so when I went to my blog I opened another file to copy and paste something else. Sufficed to say is that when I was done doing what I was doing I went to close my document and I saved it no realizing that the selected text was not saved in it. I have been doing other things catching up on stuff, and when I was done I was going to continue writing for the rest of the night. So when I opened my book document I just sat and stared.

Only my outline was saved and I took a major anxiety attack. My husband was over visiting and he’s asking me what’s wrong and all I could do was gasp for air, I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t talk, man was I ever choked, it took awhile and two ativan to calm me down enough just to speak. But when I found my voice I bet he’d wish I hadn’t, I began to freak right out, sob, scream, throw things. In my little rampage I kicked the ex out, I called the tech depts, scoured my help menus, drove myself nuts. I have some of my book on paper, what I had written by hand when I am not near my computer totaling about 1500 words that were already added and I have another 3000 that had not been entered yet, but only a small portion of that had been added already so just bits and pieces. The whole beginning is gone, a major scene is wiped out, so from the 3910 and minus the material that was in my notebook approx 1500 words, I guess all in all I lost close to 2400 words. I immediately sat down to try and recover some of the conversations from my jumbled mind , but then my support system came running, a neighbour brought a dubbie, a taxi brought me a bottle of rum, my girlfriend brought me her hugs and within an hour I was stoned and pissed drunk (rum tastes disgusting straight up). I was passed out by 11pm and off to lala land. So I guess I learned a very valuable lesson. Every time you save it, save it as a different name so that you will always have copies you can go back too in just such an emergence. All in all I lost 5 days worth of writing, allowed myself a mini crash, was reassured my friends will be there for me when I flip out, and even my daughter showed up in the morning to see if I was ok. So this week I intent to do less blogging and write my ass off until I am satified that I have recovered some of what I remember writing. AGGGHHHHH That’s all I have to say about that :oP~


LMAO,,, I just reviewed this and realized I wrote this when still a bit drunk. Please excuse my spelling errors. It seems I am unable to use a spell checker when intoxicated. Lala...